Infertility is also creating new paths. Couples should be aware of new perspectives.
Equally important to having children: The pair develop new perspectives. Often, the desire for children was for years the center of community life and has covered everything that mattered once before.
"Couples who want to have children your life a freeze sometimes for years. They forget what has been good for the relationship before the birth of children, because they focused on one issue, the desire to have children," says Corina Pette.
The development of new perspectives are usually preceded by several phases:
1. At the beginning of shock is the awareness that to live a life without their children and families.
2. Anger follows you, you were treated unfairly by life ("Why only me / us?").
3. Rabies is one of the deepest regret for the disappointments that life has.
4. At the end of mourning is the parting, a phase that usually lasts several months.
5. This phase is eventually replaced by the new orientation.
However, each pair responded to fertility treatment without success differently. While some take a very long time to come to terms with his fate, some couples find it so liberating, if changes in standing pools of emotions during treatment is finally clear. This certainly makes it easier for them to deal with the situation better and to promote new goals.
New objectives
One thing is clear: "There is no substitute for your own child, but a life without children can also be good and succeed," says Corinna Pette.
"What matters is twofold: First, it is important not to idealize family life, but also keep in mind that you can have drawbacks. Secondly, the couple should ask themselves how they want to use the new freedom that each of the two are important and which are the common interests and objectives that do not have children, "says the therapist.